The Worst Birthday Present Ever

It was Bernician Jason “Nilbog” Fischedick’s birthday last month, so I decided to surprise him with the worst birthday present ever.  What is that, you ask?  There are so many bad presents: hot dogs in a can, woolen underpants, nude pictures of Ronald Regan (the mature years).  But I found something that tops them all.  Scroll on, and find out:

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"What's with the face?"

“What’s with the face?”

Who can fully know the anguish this man is going through--the camera cannot fully capture the pain of Jason looking upon the novelization of the movie Kazaam, for the first time.

Who could understand the anguish that this man is going through–the camera cannot even fully capture the pain on Jason’s face as he looks upon the novelization of the movie Kazaam  for the first time.

Jonathan Alexandratos looks on in horror.

Jonathan Alexandratos looks on in horror.

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I’m pretty sure all of this happened–photographs don’t lie, right?

I'm pretty sure all of this happened.  Photographs are always accurate, right?

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Happy Birthday, Everyone!
– John Rice

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