What I Want For Xmas – Brian Matthew Kim

It’s that time of year where, if we’ve been good girls and boys, we get our reward. In order to promote our upcoming Holiday Special Reading (this Saturday, December 13th) we’ll be posting the Bernicians’ holiday wishes. Here’s what Brian Matthew Kim had to say:

Saturday night, I walked from the Metropolitan Museum of Art to Bryant Park. The weather was cold and rainy, but my Songs For Future Mixes playlist made the air feel warmer. From 82nd Street to 59th Street I bordered Central Park. Most of the trees were bare, their arms stretching up, and I could see deeper into the dark, empty park than I could over the summer. Once I reached 59th Street, the city spilled around me. I was greeted with lights – bright lights, shining lights – hung from buildings and strung around fountains.

If I took a “Which Character from A Christmas Carol Are YOU?” quiz, my answer would be: Ebenezer Scrooge. I don’t much like being around people. I’m more negative and pessimistic than I’d like. In sum: I am a Grinch around the holidays.

There is so much wrong in the world right now. Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice. The CIA torture cover-up. Underpaid fast-food workers – hell, underpaid workers everywhere. There are reasons, I think, to be a Scrooge, to not have faith in a system that is appallingly unjust. But it’s important not to give up. When we throw our hands in the air, it’s not a surrender – it’s a call to arms. This city makes people mean and distant, but I’ve seen a stranger on the subway calm a crying baby by making silly faces, or a woman check on a pedestrian hit by a bicyclist. I’ve seen the Good people are capable of. It’s there, only showing itself when required.

New York City looks prettier in the winter. The cold, crisp air makes everything shine brighter. The giant snowflakes and icicle-like lights were a welcome contrast to the darkness from Central Park. I guess what I’m trying to say is: What I want for Christmas isn’t a thing, but a feeling. That feeling. The warmth of city lights on a cold, rainy night. There is so much wrong in the world right now – and always – but a feeling like that isn’t one of them.


If that’s the sort of thing on your holiday wishlist, come on down to our reading this Saturday:


And be sure to bring a wrapped gift for Dollar Store Secret Santa!

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